Running Toward the Danger: Doubt

Dear Readers, thank you for joining me as we continue “Running Toward the Danger.” We are looking at the ministry of Jesus through ficitonalized perspectives of those who were front and center, based on Scriptural accounts, and research. What began as a Lenten series has become an honest look at some of the powerful emotions, and their dangers, that most of encounter during life’s journey.

Each post includes its primary Scripture notation, a perspective, and question(s) for thought. My goal is to offer new insights into the ministry of Jesus as He chose to fulfill His Heavenly Father’s purpose for Him by running toward the danger for each of us . . . and to offer encouragment that He is with us as we confront dangers in our own lives.

Simon Peter’s Perspective

The Danger of Doubt

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:22-33 CEV

Perspective

I’ve never understood. It’s beyond my comprehension. During my travels with Jesus I screwed up so many, many times. You know, like when James, John, and me all saw Jesus talking to Moses and Elijah on the mountain. I kept trying to fit Jesus into a box I could understand. Can we say, “faux pas?”I couldn’t seem to get passed that.

And then, in the darkest part of a night, among the waves tossing us about in our boats, there Jesus was. With confident strides and no hesitation, Jesus was walking across the angry, pitching water. Some of the guys thought Jesus was a ghost, and were terrified, trying to shrink into the boat. I was mesmerized. Suddenly, something inside me popped like a cork coming out of an amphorae full of wine.

My brain screamed that walking on top of the water made no sense, but still the “ghost” kept coming closer. Somewhere deep inside me faith began to churn and gurgle. My eyes widened all the way and my mouth flew open as words spewed out, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”

And He did.

Have you seen those stout ropes used in mountain-climbing? It felt like there was one of those connecting me to Jesus: I couldn’t climb out of the boat fast enough. The shouts of the other disciples, their hands clawing to keep me in the boat all faded into the background. I HAD to get to Jesus, I just had to.

I’ve heard stories about the lighthouse in Alexandria, how the tremendous beam of light shines to show ships the way to safety. The rope, the light in Jesus’s face were drawing me to Him as my feet graized the waves.

And then I got stupid. The rope was cutting off my air, the light was blinding me . . . I glanced away from Jesus. That’s all it took.

It was no longer the shouts and hands of comrades trying to bind me to the safety of the boat. The Beacon that drew me to Himself was no longer in sight. Instead, the jaws of doubt, like those of a leviathan threatened to drown me. Doubt had become my greatest danger.

With everything in me on overload, God chose to stir up my spirit until a desperate plea burst from me, “Jesus, save me!”

And He did.

The waters around us did not calm. The winds did not cease to howl and rip at us. The boat seemed leagues away. I’ve never understood, never been able to comprehend, but Jesus chose to pull me from the danger of doubt into the safety of His embrace.

You’d think I’d become the model apostle after that, right? Wrong! At the worse possible moment, in a dark and crowded courtyard, I was still a hot mess. The difference was, now I knew my only salvation was to keep my focus on Jesus because He never looks away, or lets go . . . even if we do.

Question(s) for Thought

Most of us have learned about the danger of doubt. Perhaps it was doubting ourselves, or others, circumstances, or outcomes. Describe a time when you overcame the danger of doubt.