Tom and I laughed as we drove to a meeting with my editor, Theresa. It always seemed like half the people in our world celebrated birthdays on that particular date. Well, not really, only a brother-in-law, first cousin, niece, and the pastor/ friend who married us. In just a few short hours, the date took on a much sadder note.
Lunch and a long visits with Theresa are always nourishing food for my soul. Her listening heart and loving spirit nurture me as a writer, a person, and a Christ-follower. God was gracious to sync calendars so the meeting preceded a small group gathering that evening.
Our “small” group was smaller than usual, with only three couples attending. Lately I’ve learned to say the Lord has exactly the people in the room that He wants to be there. Potlucks are our usual fare, and that evening was no different. Driving from the meeting with Theresa in one city to small group in another meant we would stop to pick up dessert in between. Pie was the dessert of choice . . . but we never ate the pie.
As close friends, it was easy to gather at the dining table before eating to visit and catch up. We talked of travels and kids, comfortable and thankful for a relaxing time together in our busy lives. Suddenly, our focus became singular and startling.
You don’t know where the wind will blow.
And you don’t know how a baby grows in its mother’s body.
In the same way, God certainly made all things.
But you can’t understand what he is doing.
Clustered around the table, our sweet friend, Patty, sat at the end between her husband, Doug, and me. Without warning, Doug reached over to Patty and began asking if she was okay. She didn’t respond.
The competent and kind 911 operator was on the phone in moments. In less than ten minutes, seven first responders filled the kitchen and dining area. They seemingly used every option in their massive bags to stabilize Patty for transport to the nearest hospital.
Because of the circumstances, a detective was also on the scene. In passing I heard him tell Doug that he would be praying for them. After Patty was in the ambulance, before we loaded up cars, the fireman told me, “They’ll be going pretty fast; don’t try to keep up, just get to the hospital as soon as you safely can.” The short drive was just long enough to activate prayer chains on both sides of the city.
After what felt like hours, a doctor came to let Doug know there was a possibility of brain damage. The doctor asked Doug if he wanted the team to make “heroic attempts” to keep Patty alive. When the doctor returned to Patty’s room, the tiny cadre of friends and arriving family gathered outside the emergency room entrance to pray. As we lifted up Patty and the medical staff, a nurse came out with an update. She said Patty was stable, but in critical condition, even as she cast hope upon us with her smiles. As she turned to go back in, she told us she was praying, too.
Soon after, Doug and two of his children, were allowed to go be with Patty. After three “heroic attempts”, the family made the hardest decision of all, the one they knew Patty would want them to make.
Before midnight, Patty entered into her Heavenly Father’s presence.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, either height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Dear Reader, in the immediate moments of Patty’s passing, grief clung like a wet sweater. I knew it was selfish to want Patty to stay with us, instead of claiming the glory of heaven . She was absolutely one of the sweetest, most guileless people I’ve ever known. Since then, I’ve wondered if the Lord, perhaps sheds a tear for those left behind, when His will is to bring their loved ones “home.” As we grieve the loss of ones dearly loved, does He grieve for allowing pain to be a part of our lives?
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful ones.
My deepest prayer for you, Dear Reader, is that there are loving people to surround you in every circumstance. May God’s Word provide blessing and confidence that He is always near and working things out for our good.
The Lord bless you and watch, guard, and keep you;
The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious (kind, merciful, and giving favor) to you;
The Lord lift up His [approving] countenance upon you and give you peace (tranquility of heart and life continually).
Patty’s family asked me to share the following excerpt from her obituary:
“In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting that donations be made to The Buddy Bag Project (buddybagprojectinc.com ~ Send donations directly by Venmo to @buddybagproject), which Patty always enjoyed volunteering with to help her dearest friends and their hearts to help local homeless.” (Patty’s Donation Page )
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